The Riverside was completely dead. Gone. The ground was silent.
Nobody thought we could do it. Apart from the 11 players on the pitch and Steve McClaren, that is.
This was the 2005/06 UEFA Cup semi final. Middlesbrough were 3-0 down on aggregate to Steaua Bucharest after 25 minutes of the second leg.
Steve McClaren was one of the best managers I had when it came to the tactical side of the game, but tactics went out of the window for the rest of that game.
He was also usually quite conservative, but he brought Massimo Maccarone (below) and Yakubu on for Gareth Southgate and Andrew Taylor. It was just ‘we’ve got four forwards on, so get the ball into the box’ for the rest of the game.
We’d already come back against Basel in the previous round, having been 3-0 down, and they’d battered us in the first leg. So there was a bit of belief among the players.
We went for it.
I was playing down the left side on my own, Stuart Parnaby was doing the same on the right, and we just packed the box.
I put ball after ball into the penalty area, and we pulled off an impossible comeback, scoring four times to get us through to the final.
It was an incredible result to cap an incredible run in the competition. I’ve since heard it was that performance that got me my place in the England squad for the 2006 World Cup.
"Some didn’t like how Capello managed, but I did – he told you straight what he wanted"
I’d missed the first half of the season through injury. But around Christmas, when I came back, I counted up the games I could play if we got to the UEFA Cup final and the FA Cup final.
Twenty-six: 26 games to prove to Sven-Göran Eriksson that I deserved to be in the squad.
In the end we got to the UEFA Cup final and the FA Cup semi final, so I only got to play 25, but it was enough. Sven liked his players to be playing in Europe, and he stuck around for the end of that game against Steaua – when lots of fans didn’t bother, and most other neutrals would have left.
I got a couple of assists, and set up the all-important fourth goal in the 89th minute. In that last 10 minutes, I felt unstoppable; I think that was what got me into the England squad.
I liked Sven a lot. He was very relaxed, didn’t shout too much and his attitude made the players relax.
It meant a great atmosphere in the England camp in Baden-Baden. Maybe some of the players relaxed too much!
But we had a great time and we’ve only got good memories from that tournament, even if it does still feel like a missed opportunity given how strong a squad we had.
It was different to life under Fabio Capello a few years later. He was just as strict as people say. He wanted things in a very precise way.
Some people didn’t like how he managed, but I did – he told you straight what he wanted. That meant you knew where you stood.
"Over the 20 years I played, I was exposed to some amazing managers"
You got simple instructions from him. He was very understated and delivered things in a simple way, which I really liked.
It was tough for me at the time, because I was competing with really good midfielders for a place in the squad. But Capello still picked me. He didn’t care about your name or your career up to that point; he just wanted the best players on the pitch.
And once he picked you, he gave you total confidence.
He told me he wanted me playing at a higher level than I was at Boro, so that was when I pushed for a move to Aston Villa. When we were competing for the top five and I carried on playing well, he rewarded me with more call-ups.
Over the 20 years I played, with a nine-year international career in there, I was exposed to some amazing managers, and some very different playing styles along the way. The variety of coaches I experienced inspired me to be a coach myself.
Towards the end of my career, I started to pay more attention to the tactical side of the game.
At the end of my time at Middlesbrough, I started my B Licence. I was 34 and I knew that was the direction I wanted to go in. Tony Pulis told me to get started on them early.
Then, when I went to Blackburn, I started on my A Licence. When I wasn’t playing, I took the Under-23s.
"I played when wingers on their natural side became rarer and rarer. I had to adapt"
I’ve loved doing my badges, and have been able to go into loads of clubs to see the different ways coaches approach the game – both in how they coach and how they want the game to be played.
When you’re young, all you want to do is play. Looking back, I can appreciate how good my coaches were at Middlesbrough when I was coming through. At the time, I just wanted to kick a ball about and get into the first team.
Dave Parnaby and Mark Proctor played a huge part in my development in the Boro youth team. They were way ahead of their time with what they were doing.
Back then, football in England was very much about playing 4-4-2, getting down the flanks and getting the ball into the box. It was something I was good at, being a left-sided midfielder who could dribble and cross, but those coaches spent lots of time with me on my technique, giving individual help. I didn’t realise I needed it back then, but it was huge for me.
I started off on the left, being told to get chalk on my boots, run down the line and get crosses in. It was almost a 1v1 game back then. Full-backs were just full-backs, and the winger just had to beat them.
As my career went on, the game changed. I played through the time when wingers on their natural side became rarer and rarer. And I had to adapt.
Gareth Southgate was the first manager to put me on the right. Opponents had started to double up on me to stop me going down the line, and I was far less effective coming inside on to my right foot.
At first, I was pretty unsure about it. I wondered if he was trying to shift me out of the team to get someone else in!
"I loved learning how to press under Brendan Rodgers. It was so much more than just triggers to go and try and win the ball"
Eventually, I saw what he was trying to do. On the right, I could come inside on to my stronger foot and attack the defender’s weak foot. It is also easier to learn to go around the outside and cross with my right than it is to learn to come inside into traffic on your right, which you have to do on the left.
I embraced the change, and worked hard on going down the outside on my right and putting crosses in or pulling the ball back. It gave me an added dimension to my game.
It helped me later in my career, too, because if I’d only played on the left, I would have struggled when my pace went. Instead, I was used to playing in the middle of the pitch.
When I went to Villa in 2009, Martin O’Neill wasn’t the most tactical of coaches. He was very good at putting a good team together, though; at recognising where he could improve his team and who could improve it.
The only real in-game change he would make was switching me and Ashley Young on the wings. Because I’d played on the right at Boro, I was happy to swap flanks regularly, and we became a very good team.
I played some of my best football at Villa, and that earned me my move to Liverpool in 2011.
I think I was brought in by Damian Comolli with the idea that I could put crosses in for Andy Carroll, who signed around the same time. There was lots of talk about the ‘Moneyball’ thinking behind our transfers.
Kenny Dalglish had so many options that he rotated the squad heavily to keep everyone happy. That meant Andy and I didn’t play together as much as we maybe should have – or as much as we’d hoped.
"At West Ham, Sam Allardyce told me that he eventually saw me as a central midfielder"
There was reasoning behind Comolli’s decision to sign us both, but we weren’t really given enough opportunity to do what we had been bought to do.
Brendan Rodgers came in at Liverpool the next summer, though, and he was really good at getting the best out of his players.
He had a huge influence on me. I’d been used to a lot of old-school managers, but he was very much a modern manager with modern ideas.
I loved learning how to press under him. It was so much more than just triggers to go and try and win the ball; it was all about showing opponents into areas and then going to press. And there was always a reason behind it that he explained clearly.
We were playing on the front foot. It was exactly the kind of football I wanted to be playing, and it was no surprise that my best football for Liverpool came under him. My game was developing even more.
Then, when I moved to West Ham at the end of the 2012/13 season, something unexpected happened.
Sam Allardyce told me that he eventually saw me as a central midfielder. “Not just yet,” he said. “But a few years down the line, I see you playing in the middle.”
He saw that I liked getting on the ball, and I was comfortable receiving it in tight spaces. He knew my pace would eventually go, too.
"I think, of all the brilliant coaches I had, STEVE MCCLAREN had the biggest influence on me"
But for now, he wanted me out wide providing crosses for Andy Carroll, who he’d also signed.
Then Andy got injured, and Sam had to change things up. He switched to a diamond midfield, and I played on the left side of the midfield three. Then Kevin Nolan came back from injury, and Sam moved me up to number 10.
I found myself scoring goals and had one of my best seasons in front of goal. I got eight Premier League assists, too. I played some of my best football in that position for West Ham.
Sam admitted to me afterwards that he had got a bit lucky. He hadn’t seen me as a number 10, but he’d stumbled upon a position that suited my game perfectly.
Sometimes, as a manager, you need luck on your side.
Of all the brilliant coaches I had, though, I think the one who had the biggest influence on me was Steve McClaren.
He was way ahead of his time with the detail in his work; the analysis he did; the out-of-possession coaching he did with you. He was always out there on the training ground, interacting with his players, pulling you aside to give you a little help here and there.
He demanded a lot of you, and was happy to put lots of pressure on young players. I loved having that responsibility as a youngster, and I’m forever grateful for him putting me in the first team, and giving me the chance to play for my boyhood club.
"I used to watch my managers and think what they were doing looked easy"
The draw to go back to Boro was too great in 2015, even though West Ham had got into Europe and Boro were in the Championship. The chairman, Steve Gibson, phoned me and told me he had big plans, and I was part of them.
I decided to go back.
I felt I’d left on a slightly sour note and wanted to go back and right that wrong. Some people were a bit thrown by me wanting to drop down a league to go back to Boro, but it felt right at the time.
I played a big role in getting Boro back into the Premier League, which is what I went back to do. I didn’t love the football some of the managers had us playing, but I still learned plenty that I will take into my coaching.
Aitor Karanka took us up playing conservative but extremely effective football, and Tony Pulis was amazing at getting his players doing exactly what he wanted – including convincing me to do my badges! Looking back, I’m very glad he told me to do that.
Since I retired in 2021, I’ve been going into Middlesbrough’s academy to do some coaching, mainly working with the Under-14s to Under-16s. They need a bit more help than the older players I’ve worked with, and you do a bit more individual coaching with them, which I like to do.
With the Blackburn Under-23s, it was more about winning. Younger players, you’re looking to develop, but at that stage we wanted to make sure we won games. I learned how to do team talks, too, which is something I totally took for granted as a player.
I used to watch my managers and think what they were doing looked easy. You just stand in front of everyone and speak.
"Ultimately, I want to get a chance to complete a set that would mean an awful lot to me"
When you actually do it yourself, though, it’s a different ball game. It doesn’t matter if it’s in front of four people or 40 people. The players are listening to every word you say; if you get it wrong, it will come back and bite you.
That’s the kind of thing I’ve loved learning how to do, though. I like that side of things now, and I’m getting more confident in my ability to get my ideas across.
I don’t have immediate plans for where my coaching will take me, but I’m quite open with where I want to get to one day. I want to be a manager.
It’s been great to go back to Middlesbrough to learn my trade, make my mistakes with the younger age groups and watch other coaches. Going to other clubs to watch great coaches like Sean Dyche, Tony Mowbray and Steven Gerrard in action has helped me mould my philosophy. It’s amazing seeing how different managers can be.
I think now, having had the playing career I had, having taken elements from so many great coaches, and having had a chance to step back, reflect on my career and think about the coach I want to be, I’m in a good place.
Ultimately, I want to get a chance to complete a set that would mean an awful lot to me.
I’ve been a ball boy at Middlesbrough, played in the youth team, played for the first team, and captained the first team.
The only thing that’s left for me to do is manage my boyhood club.
If that’s going to happen at some point, I don’t know, but it’s the main ambition for this next stage of my career.
I’ll keep working hard to try and make sure I get that opportunity.
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